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The difference between communicating on the Internet and a real meeting

Posted on December 25, 2019December 21, 2019

During the first date after matchmaking on a dating site, it is important what image of the other person you built when you came to meet him. And again, nothing new happens here, because even when you meet someone in reality at first sight you see someone, you build an image at first sight, and then the next phases of relationship development come, and this image is completely inconsistent with the real person with whom you are dealing. It’s not a big deal here either.

But there are two aspects to it. Aspect one. Having got acquainted in reality, we receive much more diverse information through various channels of perception, and this information not only affects the consciousness or unconscious, but also our biological component, the bodily one. For example, everyone knows that people smell differently, and that smell, the smell of sweat, is a marker of genetic compatibility for another person. In this regard, there is such an anecdotal situation: mothers of young people scold their wives, because “here it is not washed, not washed, it smells”. This is such an anecdotal situation, because the woman who chose this person does not smell it, for her it is rather pleasant, because it guarantees sufficient diversity of genetic material and healthy offspring. 

And for the mother, the smell is unpleasant, genetically similar people smell unpleasant. Apart from sweat, people emit a lot of this information, so when we meet in reality, we interact at the level of pheromones, but this is not available on the Internet. And rather, when you meet in the Internet, we will already interact with their own pheromones, and further to think about some image. It is more possible that the warning system, which humanity has developed over many, many years, will not work, because we have only voice, sound, sometimes we perceive some movement if we have a video broadcast, but most of it is a picture, text and audio.

But text is a so-called digital channel of perception, chronologically later formed in man, so it’s easier to deceive him. The body channel – goes away, the smell channel goes away, the chemical channel goes away, we can’t see it all on the Internet. These are the reasons for the mismatch of images for those people who are focused on dating.

The second aspect. A part of those people who are focused on dating get caught on this: if you look at a dating site or social network, we find a very large selection of questionnaires with a variety of parameters, and it creates some illusion of the infinity of choice, the infinity of their own lives. It’s as if “if not this one, then I’ll change it”. This illusion is not typical for dating girls and boys in reality, the circle of our real dating is limited, and we can not go through so much.

So far, we have talked more about people for whom the Internet is just a place to meet. But our topic – virtual love – is not so much about dating, but rather about relationships on the Internet, when feelings arise in the stage of virtual communication. In such a relationship is very likely to meet people who are not oriented to the meeting in principle.  These people initially assume that they will stay on the Web. They are focused on virtual relationships.

There can be all sorts of reasons. There can be physical restrictions, and there are special places for acquaintance of people with different restrictions which cannot move because of lack of mobility, any physical defect or illness, but they can interact in this way. For them, the network is a very important opportunity for social activity. Sometimes it has to do with mental trauma. These traumas can occur in childhood or in adulthood, and then the person chooses isolation. Approaching another person is extremely painful for them. Mainly because the other person is out of control, you can expect anything from him or her.

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